Basic Human Needs to be Fully Known and Fully Loved

“The A, B, C's of community in small groups are Authenticity, Belonging, and Caring.

Authenticity - is our basic desire to be fully known.

Belonging - is our basic need to be a part of something bigger than our selves so that, interacting with others, we can learn about our selves and receive.

Caring - we need to know that we are considered precious by others. We need to be loved.

The problem is that, on our own, we can get this exactly backwards. We start to think that if we are authentic - if people come to know us for who we really are - they will reject us. We will not Belong, and if we don't belong, we will not be loved. So from a human perspective, we see a conflict between being authentic and being loved.

But the good news is... Jesus fully knows us AND fully loves us - enough to die for us on the cross. And once we really accept the grace provided by the cross we can begin to be authentic with God. We can stop pretending that we can be good enough and accept the fact that through Him we truly Belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. In that security we can ask God to help us see ourselves - authentically.

So with Jesus, the Love comes first, when we accept this unconditional love, Belonging and Authenticity follows. So why do we need community? Because when we are alone, we fall back into human conventions. Like thinking that A comes before B and B before C. Even when we come here for corporate worship - we put on our best clothes and we tend to leave all the stuff that needs to be brought before God at home in closets. We're afraid to bring that stuff here because if we did, we might not Belong. And, as a result, we might not be loved.

So what we need is a place that's modeled on God's A,B,C's of community - not ours. Where the Caring comes first and the sense of Belonging follows. Together, these create an environment in which it is safe for us to be Authentic. And here's the good part - at this point a feedback loop kicks in - when a more authentic version of you is loved (even while being held accountable), you really feel like you belong and this allows you to be even more authentic, and when this version of you is loved, you belong even more..

When this upward spiral takes place lives are transformed as we grow in Christ, together. I believe that this spiral occurs more easily in Community Groups than in large groups and it occurs most easily where the caring - unconditional caring - comes first.

Invest in Volunteers

Invest in Volunteers

“i TAFERR” Model – How to invest (i) in volunteers so that they have a life transformation experience
• Only 5% of recruited volunteers last six months in a ministry
• 47% of church volunteers feel used and abused
• 93% of all adults are not self initiators (only 7% are)
• Eph 4:11 – What does equipping the saints for the work of service look like?

'T'raining
• If it’s worth doing, it’s worth training
• We tend to train people in what they don’t need to know
• Training has three parts; tell, show do

'A'ffirmation
• Affirmation is noticing character not skill.
• 1000’s leave ministry every day because they never get affirmation
• Affirmation is sometimes called “volunteer pay”
• Give affirmation directly, briefly, skillfully, and face to face.

'F'eedback – After people serve, they should be better in every respect.
• We don’t give feedback because we are afraid people won’t come back. Three common ways:
• Bubbles – compliments aren’t bad…just mediocre
• Baseballs – hurts when it hits you, represent criticism, leaves a bruise, don’t grow, but run
• Beach balls are best. “The next time...”, absorb it, won’t hurt if it hits you, need permission first, do it in private
• Couple of don’ts… don’t do it right after, don’t do it in writing…it should be relational

'E'valuation
• We don’t evaluate people, we evaluate effectiveness of teams and programs
• Three questions to ask, What should we stop doing?, Start doing?, Continue doing?

'R'ecognition
• Only works if it done for an individual not a group
• Pick up the phone and say what you appreciate
• Tangible, real, and connects with the act of service
• Don’t give token gifts, it doesn’t work.

'R'eflection - help people move forward towards reflection
• If we do service without reflection, it is only volunteerism, not service.
• Understand the why I serve

Transition to Retirement

January 2011 finds us in transition. I retired from PAC in December 2010. In total, I worked pretty much full time (except for schooling in high school and college) since I turned 16 in 1962. We are moving to Las Vegas in a couple of months to a home we bought in March 2009. We will have the time we need to spend with our family and friends in our remaining years and we are looking forward to that.

In the past, I wrote this blog for community groups at PAC as well as my personal journey with Christ. Going forward I will still record my personal journey but from the perspective of what our new life brings us.

Developing Community at PAC - October 25, 2009

We Believe:

To become well connected to Princeton Alliance Church, we strongly encourage you to join a Community Group. People join Community Groups for many reasons - to know a few people well, to learn to grow spiritually, to connect to the body of a large church. The single most influential aspect of any healthy Community Group is caring - caring for each other and caring for the world we live in. When we care for and are cared for by others, we experience the very essence of the Gospel. John 13:34-35 says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Groups that care for one another in words and actions have the deepest and most lasting impact on our church family and our communities.

Scriptural Picture:

Acts 2:42-47 gives us a beautiful picture of what biblical community looks like. They met together to teach one another about scripture. They met together to pray and offer praises to God. They participated in full biblical fellowship which is to sharpen each other to be more like Christ. They broke bread together which was simply having fun as a group. As a group they met the needs of those around them. As a result of this beautiful picture people came to know Christ as their savior. We believe that a healthy group will have people coming to Christ as a natural outflow of the group. Because the early church picture was they were living these things in community in their community. So many times we put a Christian bubble around ourselves and this is not what we want to see happen in PAC’s community groups.

Fulness of Christ:

Once a new Community Group forms, the early experience of the members will be fellowship, light study and sharing with one another. With ample time together as a group, caring for each other will take root and grow. As group grows towards maturity, caring will broaden to others beginning with their communities and then beyond to the world. Our prayer for Community Groups is just as people who know Jesus are gifted with spiritual gifts, so also will Community Groups be gifted with specific works of service for which they will be known. Ephesians 4:11-13 says, “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

Full Christian maturity can only take place in a group where people are empowered by the Holy Spirit, acting within their God given giftedness, are serving others together to meet the needs of all people.

Call to Action:

Our goal is for everyone to experience a Community Group during our fall Community Group campaign. It is difficult to explain the experience of being fully known and fully loved by a small group of friends. It is far better to experience it. In the process of meeting a need in someone else’s life, you will find that your heart is moved and often broken for all people in the world around you. New groups will form near you this fall. The campaign will be five weeks an will follow the sermon series on Prayer. Community Group information meetings will be held in September and the sermon series will begin on October 25.

Summer of 2009 Thoughts on Community Groups

The year of 2009 is flying by and for many people in can't end soon enough. Our country and way of life is in some kind of economic correction and we aren't sure when this correction will end and what the future will look like when it does. Stress levels are high for many people and people face many problems that are magnified by the woes of our nation.

"Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness." Rick Warren

This quote from Rick Warren pretty much captures my belief about why bad things happen to good people. I have been studying Abraham in the book of Genesis. Abraham walked with God. Abraham did not believe in God...he believed God; he did not ask for proof...he provided the proof. This is a picture of faith that really grabs hold of me.

Only God knows the future. In order to find meaning in this predicted uncertain year of 2009, we need to walk by faith, realizing that we have the choice to build character by walking boldly in our circumstances or flirt with defeat by retreating into anxiety and fear. Habakkuk 2:4b, "but the righteous will live by his faith".

For the reasons above, we strongly encourage you to join a Community Group at Princeton Alliance Church this fall.

Church Body that Functions

Leadership in the Church

If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he's talking about, not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God's church? He must not be a new believer, lest the position go to his head and the Devil trip him up. Outsiders must think well of him, or else the Devil will figure out a way to lure him into his trap.

Servants in the Church

The same goes for those who want to be servants in the church: serious, not deceitful, not too free with the bottle, not in it for what they can get out of it. They must be reverent before the mystery of the faith, not using their position to try to run things. Let them prove themselves first. If they show they can do it, take them on. No exceptions are to be made for women—same qualifications: serious, dependable, not sharp-tongued, not overfond of wine. Servants in the church are to be committed to their spouses, attentive to their own children, and diligent in looking after their own affairs. Those who do this servant work will come to be highly respected, a real credit to this Jesus-faith.
1 Timothy 3

Who Jesus is - Easter 2009

Hebews 1:1-4. "In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe.

The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. So he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs."