Basic Human Needs to be Fully Known and Fully Loved

“The A, B, C's of community in small groups are Authenticity, Belonging, and Caring.

Authenticity - is our basic desire to be fully known.

Belonging - is our basic need to be a part of something bigger than our selves so that, interacting with others, we can learn about our selves and receive.

Caring - we need to know that we are considered precious by others. We need to be loved.

The problem is that, on our own, we can get this exactly backwards. We start to think that if we are authentic - if people come to know us for who we really are - they will reject us. We will not Belong, and if we don't belong, we will not be loved. So from a human perspective, we see a conflict between being authentic and being loved.

But the good news is... Jesus fully knows us AND fully loves us - enough to die for us on the cross. And once we really accept the grace provided by the cross we can begin to be authentic with God. We can stop pretending that we can be good enough and accept the fact that through Him we truly Belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. In that security we can ask God to help us see ourselves - authentically.

So with Jesus, the Love comes first, when we accept this unconditional love, Belonging and Authenticity follows. So why do we need community? Because when we are alone, we fall back into human conventions. Like thinking that A comes before B and B before C. Even when we come here for corporate worship - we put on our best clothes and we tend to leave all the stuff that needs to be brought before God at home in closets. We're afraid to bring that stuff here because if we did, we might not Belong. And, as a result, we might not be loved.

So what we need is a place that's modeled on God's A,B,C's of community - not ours. Where the Caring comes first and the sense of Belonging follows. Together, these create an environment in which it is safe for us to be Authentic. And here's the good part - at this point a feedback loop kicks in - when a more authentic version of you is loved (even while being held accountable), you really feel like you belong and this allows you to be even more authentic, and when this version of you is loved, you belong even more..

When this upward spiral takes place lives are transformed as we grow in Christ, together. I believe that this spiral occurs more easily in Community Groups than in large groups and it occurs most easily where the caring - unconditional caring - comes first.